Last nights birth was amazing! I'll share the story later when mom is ready, but for now I want to share with you some exciting things about the experience from a professional view.
It would be nice if we didn't need to, but I encourage moms to write a birth plan. Many times when I mention it, I'm given this response... "why bother, they don't follow it anyway." Well, I'm here to tell you, I've attended more than 50 births in the last two years, over 40 of which were at the Antelope Valley WIP (Women Infants Pavilion) and I can honestly say; that is NO LONGER TRUE! (happy dance!)
In the course of those two years I've seen a big shift in the attitude toward birth plans and intervention-free births at the WIP!
I began to notice this shift in the last six to eight months. The first time it caught my attention was when a common situation was handled differently than ever before. I often bring moms in at the last minute. It's usually what mom wants but can be very intense getting through triage and into a room. It often involves running, sometimes involves dad nearly passing out, and once, involved telling mom to pick up her baby that just arrived in the hallway and the nurses were too busy steering the gurney to help her! (that's one way to get to catch your own baby there!)
In any case, the response from the nurses used to be (key phrase right there people!!) all about why we waited so long, why didn't we come sooner, was this on purpose, and how lucky we were to have made it and other not-so-subtle scoldings. Just what every mother wants as she's having a baby, to be scolded like she is one, right?!
Now, fast forward to the last several months and another handful of these stop and drops: the scenario is the same, running, catching, sighing with relief, but the tone has totally shifted. No longer do we hear scolding. It is now things like "is there a birth plan?" "What do we need to know right now about what you want?" And my favorite was the dr rushing in, seeing mom on her hands and knees (don't worry, I ran down the hall beside her covering her behind until we got in the room... no mooning bystanders on my watch! lol!) and he asked, "are you staying like that?" His response to her "yes" was "alright, I'll wait back here."
But wait! There's more! (lol!) Things got even better last night! I've just returned from a 12 week break , but the last birth I did at AV was about 15 weeks ago.
I honestly didn't think my absence there would be noticed, and was pleasantly surprised when a nurse caught a glimpse of us in triage and popped her head in to say "hey you're here! Did you bring us another calm mom?" And walking down the hall to hear "hi. oh,
hey, I know you, where ya been?" and from the Dr when he walked in: "Hey, I've worked with you a
few times, I like your style, this is gonna be great!" And the dad heard a
nurse at shift change asking for our room!
Now, brace yourself, this gets BETTER!!
After the birth was over and mom, dad and baby were getting all mushy mushy, mom looks up at me and whispers, "I got every thing I wanted and nothing I didn't want." We were there about 2 hours before baby arrived, so there was plenty of time for those unwanted things to take place, but she and her requests were honored respectfully. I can't wait to tell you more about it in another post! :)
I've been telling people for a while now that while the WIP is no birth haven, it is my "doula home", my "turf" so to speak. I know it well, and now I'm feeling like they know me a bit. The bottom line is; changes are happening! We've not arrived by a long shot but we are heading in a positive direction.
Mommas... Write those birth plans! I'll be teaching workshops this year on how to write one that is well received so email me, or follow this blog, if you'd like to be notified of the dates.
Fellow doulas... our
reputation is so important to positive change! Keep up the awesome work and always be aware that we are being watched, and even though we may be alone at a birth, we always represent each other. Make sure your behavior reflects doulas in a positive light! Thank you, all who have been at the WIP in a way that has positively contributed to this direction of change. :-)
Hugs to ya! =)
~Shannon
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
The "Middle Wife"
A friend of mine emailed me this because it's funny. We have no idea if it's true or not, but regardless, it's too stinkin' cute not to share!
The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there in the first place.'
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's Show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'
"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)
'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there in the first place.'
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's Show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Voodoo Doula?
I have a twin. Just a Doula twin, but I love her. Mainly because I think she is me. Or I'm her, or she wants to be me... Either way, she has made me laugh, read my mind, encouraged me in some challenging moments, and reminds me that I'm not weird. Correction,that I'm not the only one who is weird.
We call each other "twin" because we have a freakish amount of things in common, both in our doula-ness and real life. Not that doula-ness isn't real life, but, well, you know what I mean!
I'm pretty sure the reason we live on opposite sides of the county is for the safety of those around us! I am often told that I don't "seem like the doula type". Okaaaayy??.... never sure how to reply to that! Maybe this will explain what goes through some peoples mind when they hear the word doula and respond like this: hula? houd-la? dou-la-la? cool-a? Oh! Doula? ok, what's that?
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| From here! |
I promise I only wear my voodoo outfit when I'm barbecue-ing a placenta. (kidding. really.) Maybe the reason OB's think that is because they usually only see us when we have sprung out of bed at oh-dark-thirty and rushed bed-head and all to support a momma! Perhaps a hat would be a wise investment.... nah!
ANYWHO.... back to the purpose of this post... Jen, my doula twin, all the way across the country, wrote a blog post, and this paragraph was seriously sucked right from my own brain... perhaps she does fit the bottom middle picture better than most... hmmmm.... ;-)
As a doula, I am called to become familiar enough with a mother or a mother and partner in a matter of hours to be able to not totally tick them off when the time comes for their precious child to make their grand debut. It's like speed-dating and then running off for a quickie wedding if you're the chosen one. I'm always humbled when an expectant family says, "Yes, we'd like for you to be with us for the birth of this child" despite my tendency towards goofiness and caffeine consumption (I swear I am quiet and calm during birth. Promise.).
It's not like someone choosing a toothbrush. They are choosing ME. I still get awkward at that moment. It is humbling and such an honor! How on earth am I able to provide all that they deserve? So as I approach my 50 family mark, I continue to be blessed and honored! Thank you to each of you who have chosen me to be part of your birth team and witness the birth and growth of your family!
If you had a doula, how did you decide who it would be? Were your expectations met? How or how not?
Hugs to ya!
Shannon =)
Shannon =)
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
What do you mean - "You're on call"?
Being on call means doulas have to consider a whole lot more than just a phone...
Here's 8 things on our mind while we wait for "the call"...
1. "Is that a wedding ring on your cell phone?" Yup! Pretty much married to the gadget during on-call weeks!
2. Beauty rest... well, you get what you get if you call me at 3 a.m.... but I do try to get to bed at a decent hour every night so I can see straight when you do call! Nothing worse than being called a 1 a.m. after staying up till midnight!
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| heeheee... car flags for doulas and mommas in labor! www.signoflabor.com |
4. What goes in, might come out. This means we have watch what we eat... Tuna for lunch? Not enough Crest in the world to kill that breath! Onion rings? Scope can't touch this. Beans... well, let's just say sometimes life stinks. *chuckle* But really, not much worse than trying to help a momma change positions while trying not to let one rip.
5. There's only one time the word virgin fits into my line of work... when ordering drinks while on-call! 'Nuf said.
6. Murphy's Law. There are two days that babies are most likely to come; one is the day I have jam packed full of plans; the other is the day I have none and decide to stay in my jammies and not shower, color my hair and paint my nails. THAT is the day I'll get a call saying "come NOW!"
7. Sleep aids... bahahahhaha! uh. NO.
8. Earthquake preparedness extreme. AKA my doula bag... So in case of emergency, I can cook ya some rice,(rice socks) exercise,(tennis balls and fitness ball) keep you warm (rebozo) and massage the knots out of your back! (massage oil)
After being blessed with 21 one families in 2011, I decided not to take any clients for the month of February. I'm not sure I'll know how to behave!
Hugs to ya!
Shannon =)
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Brace yourself for this one.
Recently I was in a conversation about doulas and our differences.
The main focus was on how some doulas will not take on clients who make certain decisions. For example, if parents plan to circumcise their sons, or if they plan on using pain medication for labor.
The conversation was civil to the public eye, but when I made this comment, my inbox filled up. The big controversial comment?
"I believe we should have an attitude of "your birth your way", not "your birth my way"".
I pretty much got blasted for that. How can I tolerate all birth styles? How can I condone circumcision? And on and on. I was shocked. Just a little though. I've often teased that I feel like a doula outcast. This confirmed it. It's okay though, I'm not much of a conformist anyways. My socks don't even match. :)
When I look back over the 21 families I worked with in 2011, I feel good about my non-conformist ways. I recall being told many times, (sad actually how often) that I was being chosen as the doula for them because I didn't make them feel like I had my own agenda or that I would frown on their choices. Did I make sure they knew the risks of choosing an epidural? Heck yes!! That's my job! They hired a doula because they want to make INFORMED choices. So, I INFORM them. I don't guilt them. I don't shame them and I don't make them question their ability to make their own choices for their own family.
Am I perfect at that? Sadly, no. I'm sure that I have made a face or raised an eyebrow when I feel a squeeze in my heart that there are choices being made that don't sit right with me. I'm sorry for that. I wasn't hired to agree with everyone, I was hired to inform and support.
I take on couples that plans to circumcise, do I therefore "condone" circumcision? I take on clients that don't plan to circumcise, am I an "intactavist"? You may never know. Will I give them the facts about circumcision and intactness? Yes. Will I give them the risks of doing or not doing it? Yes. Will I tell them what I did or didn't do for my boys? No! Personally, I have no desire to have anyone imagine what my husbands or sons penis' look like. And I cringe every time I see a mom all over facebook talking about her sons private parts. I can't imagine the horror my son would feel if his college buddies came across a posting about his penis on facebook! Really moms/wives? Show some discretion please!
Phew, little off track there.... Back to my point. I have no problem agreeing to disagree with other doulas or parents. I do have a problem with being blasted for my doula philosophies. If you want to refuse a client because they will vaccinate or use an epidural or circumcise, that's your choice. I don't have to agree with you. I do appreciate that if you can't take a client on and fully support her, that you kindly decline serving her. But then don't blast me because I'm willing to offer non-judgmental services to her. So please, no more letters telling me I'm harming children because I support moms in labor who use medication or any of those other hot topics.
I really could keep going, but I'll stop now. I'm sure I've made some peoples blood boil, and I'm sure I've had a few nods of agreement. Either response is fine by me. Just be kind. :-)
Oh, and by the way, I've had conversations similar to that one many times and have been blasted both publicly and privately, so please don't assume I'm talking about you, or that you know who I am talking about. :)
P.S. If you thought this was a doosy, wait until I write about breastfeeding in public!
Hugs to ya ~
Shannon
The main focus was on how some doulas will not take on clients who make certain decisions. For example, if parents plan to circumcise their sons, or if they plan on using pain medication for labor.
The conversation was civil to the public eye, but when I made this comment, my inbox filled up. The big controversial comment?
"I believe we should have an attitude of "your birth your way", not "your birth my way"".
I pretty much got blasted for that. How can I tolerate all birth styles? How can I condone circumcision? And on and on. I was shocked. Just a little though. I've often teased that I feel like a doula outcast. This confirmed it. It's okay though, I'm not much of a conformist anyways. My socks don't even match. :)
When I look back over the 21 families I worked with in 2011, I feel good about my non-conformist ways. I recall being told many times, (sad actually how often) that I was being chosen as the doula for them because I didn't make them feel like I had my own agenda or that I would frown on their choices. Did I make sure they knew the risks of choosing an epidural? Heck yes!! That's my job! They hired a doula because they want to make INFORMED choices. So, I INFORM them. I don't guilt them. I don't shame them and I don't make them question their ability to make their own choices for their own family.
Am I perfect at that? Sadly, no. I'm sure that I have made a face or raised an eyebrow when I feel a squeeze in my heart that there are choices being made that don't sit right with me. I'm sorry for that. I wasn't hired to agree with everyone, I was hired to inform and support.
I take on couples that plans to circumcise, do I therefore "condone" circumcision? I take on clients that don't plan to circumcise, am I an "intactavist"? You may never know. Will I give them the facts about circumcision and intactness? Yes. Will I give them the risks of doing or not doing it? Yes. Will I tell them what I did or didn't do for my boys? No! Personally, I have no desire to have anyone imagine what my husbands or sons penis' look like. And I cringe every time I see a mom all over facebook talking about her sons private parts. I can't imagine the horror my son would feel if his college buddies came across a posting about his penis on facebook! Really moms/wives? Show some discretion please!
Phew, little off track there.... Back to my point. I have no problem agreeing to disagree with other doulas or parents. I do have a problem with being blasted for my doula philosophies. If you want to refuse a client because they will vaccinate or use an epidural or circumcise, that's your choice. I don't have to agree with you. I do appreciate that if you can't take a client on and fully support her, that you kindly decline serving her. But then don't blast me because I'm willing to offer non-judgmental services to her. So please, no more letters telling me I'm harming children because I support moms in labor who use medication or any of those other hot topics.
I really could keep going, but I'll stop now. I'm sure I've made some peoples blood boil, and I'm sure I've had a few nods of agreement. Either response is fine by me. Just be kind. :-)
Oh, and by the way, I've had conversations similar to that one many times and have been blasted both publicly and privately, so please don't assume I'm talking about you, or that you know who I am talking about. :)
P.S. If you thought this was a doosy, wait until I write about breastfeeding in public!
Hugs to ya ~
Shannon
Friday, December 9, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Kind of a crappy post...
I know we all have different potty training methods but here is mine. On their third (yes, 3rd) birthday, said child receives a cool pack of fun undies. I hold up a pair in one hand, diaper in the other and say "which one to you want to wear" they say "unides!!" "okay, then keep 'em clean!"
Done. Daytime success in a day or two, night time success within a week. No tears, no weeks of messes and tears and no books full of tips. Just an age of capability and comprehension and coordination. :)
That worked for all 4 of my kids. Wait, I have 5.... oh yes, Stacey is still in diapers. Her development is delayed and she's not like a 3 year old yet. She is 12. Years.
So, I thought I'd do some Diaper Duty math....
On average a baby uses 10 or more diaper a day. So lets say 10 per day for a year... that's 3,650 the first year. (x 4 kids is 14,600)
Lets say from age 1- 3, they use average of 5 per day. That's 3,650 for those 2 years. (x 4 kids is14,600)
Four kids of the above numbers comes to..29,200.
Now Stacey was infantile until she was 2, only weighed 20 pounds after her 2nd birthday. She also has digestive issues. So for her, lets say 10 diapers per day for 2 years, that's 7,300. Now from the time she was 2 until 12, lets say about 7 per day. (I get diapers delivered and that's what my usage averages out to be) that's 25,550 plus her first 2 years is a total of 32,850.
Let's add the other 4 poopers to Stacey for a grand total of.... 62,050 diaper changes!
That stinks! (yes, another crappy pun!)
The moral of the story is.... 62,050 diapers is overwhelming, if I had to do them all at once. But thankfully, I've only had to do one, or two, at a time. I can do that.
When being a momma gets overwhelming, just ask yourself, can I do this right now? Can I wipe this tushy? Yes. Can I clean up this spill? Yes. Can I change these dirty clothes? Yes.
God gives us the Grace to face earthly life when we need it, not before. He didn't ask "Hey, you look like a good sport, how 'bout you commit to changing 62 THOUSAND diapers?!" nope, He said, "Hey, I choose you to be her momma, you can change her diaper before bed, here's what you need" then wham, He gives me whatever it is I need to do that ONE! Sometimes I think He should install an ejection seat on the sofa since I tend to get stuck there late at night!
But Wait! Theres More! (sorry, when I'm stuck on the sofa late at night, its infomercial time!) There really is more, with God, doesn't it seem like there is always more?
The best part of being willing to tend to this stinky part of mothering??? We also get to tend to the sweet parts too!
So, however you spend your day, remember the sweet stuff, it will help you get through the nasties... one change at a time!
Hugs n love to ya!
Shannon =)
(footnote since I keep getting asked... My Stacey has multiple disabilites. She is 12, with the skills of a 2ish year old. She has Agenesis of the Corpus Collosum, A Chromosome deletion on 3q, seizure disorder, chronic lung disease, mitochondrial dysfunction, severe speech delay, and then some! Thank you for asking, I don't mind one bit!)
(footnote since I keep getting asked... My Stacey has multiple disabilites. She is 12, with the skills of a 2ish year old. She has Agenesis of the Corpus Collosum, A Chromosome deletion on 3q, seizure disorder, chronic lung disease, mitochondrial dysfunction, severe speech delay, and then some! Thank you for asking, I don't mind one bit!)
Sunday, November 20, 2011
No pity party here
She's been pacing the halls of her home for hours. Stopping every so often to rock and sway and groan through her pains. Sometimes she wants support or eyes to stare into or hands to hold. Sometimes she winds her way into a dark room and stays alone.
As the hours tick away, her pains become all but consuming. She needs consistent support and affirmations. She wants to quit. Give up. Stop the pain. She looks at me with pleading eyes. As if silently trying to inflict her pain on me instead.
I understand this, but I don't feel sorry for her. There is no need to.
I'm convinced she doesn't want my sorrow. She wants my strength. She wants my confidence in her. She wants to see herself in me. So when I look her in the eye and tell her she's "got this" she sees that it's true.
I was at a long hard labor last night, well, the last two nights actually. Told you it was long! Whenever she would say something had changed, more pressure, more intensity, more frequent; I'd say "Good! This is great! Baby's coming!" Finally she looked at me and said "is anything ever not good for you?" and I just smiled and replied, "You're getting feisty, this is good." We laughed a bit but the truth is, labor is good. Pressure is good, intensity is good and frequent contractions are good! They are necessary to bring her baby into her arms. I never said "sorry."
If I felt sorry for her, I would also feel a need to take her pain from her, to give her an escape, to rescue her. She doesn't need that, and when she's honest, she'll tell you she doesn't want it either.
What she needs is confidence balanced with a healthy dose of empathy: "the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another."
So I give her what she needs. I let her know how all her feelings and thoughts are normal. I keep her focused. I bolster her courage. I remind her of her coping skills. I keep her putting one foot in front of the other all the way to the finish line.
The more she wants out, the more I point her inward. The more she tries to escape, the more her success depends on her being totally in tune with her body and the work it's doing. She doesn't need my sorrow. She needs herself. The strength is in her and what she needs is me to show her where it is and how to rely on it; not to feel sorry for her. As someone once said (Ina May perhaps?) "Labor cannot be stronger than you, because it IS you."
As the hours tick away, her pains become all but consuming. She needs consistent support and affirmations. She wants to quit. Give up. Stop the pain. She looks at me with pleading eyes. As if silently trying to inflict her pain on me instead.
I understand this, but I don't feel sorry for her. There is no need to.
The word sorry means: "feeling regret, sympathy, pity, regrettable or deplorable, unfortunate, tragic, sorrowful, grieved, or sad."
I don't, and shouldn't feel sorry for a laboring momma.
I don't, and shouldn't feel sorry for a laboring momma.
I'm convinced she doesn't want my sorrow. She wants my strength. She wants my confidence in her. She wants to see herself in me. So when I look her in the eye and tell her she's "got this" she sees that it's true.
I was at a long hard labor last night, well, the last two nights actually. Told you it was long! Whenever she would say something had changed, more pressure, more intensity, more frequent; I'd say "Good! This is great! Baby's coming!" Finally she looked at me and said "is anything ever not good for you?" and I just smiled and replied, "You're getting feisty, this is good." We laughed a bit but the truth is, labor is good. Pressure is good, intensity is good and frequent contractions are good! They are necessary to bring her baby into her arms. I never said "sorry."
If I felt sorry for her, I would also feel a need to take her pain from her, to give her an escape, to rescue her. She doesn't need that, and when she's honest, she'll tell you she doesn't want it either.
What she needs is confidence balanced with a healthy dose of empathy: "the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another."
So I give her what she needs. I let her know how all her feelings and thoughts are normal. I keep her focused. I bolster her courage. I remind her of her coping skills. I keep her putting one foot in front of the other all the way to the finish line.
The more she wants out, the more I point her inward. The more she tries to escape, the more her success depends on her being totally in tune with her body and the work it's doing. She doesn't need my sorrow. She needs herself. The strength is in her and what she needs is me to show her where it is and how to rely on it; not to feel sorry for her. As someone once said (Ina May perhaps?) "Labor cannot be stronger than you, because it IS you."
You got this momma! Rock it! I'm proud of you!
Hugs to ya!
Shannon =) definitions from Dictionary.com
Monday, November 14, 2011
Just Breeeeathe....
The In's n Out's of Breathing Before and During Labor
You and a friend are going for a walk, chatting as you stroll along. A while down the road you think you’re ready to head back but she says “no, let’s go farther, and let’s jog a bit”.
So you continue on.
A bit farther down the road your side is cramping and your lungs start to ache. “I want to stop” you mumble. But your friend takes your hand and tugs you along even faster. You can no longer see your house, and you see no end to the trail you’re on. She is now dragging you along at a rapid pace. Your lungs are screaming for air, your heart racing, panic in your eyes as you realize you are far less prepared for this than your eager friend…
****
So just how are you supposed to practice breathing; something that you don’t typically give a second thought to?
Try this:
Take a deep breath in your nose, fully extending your diaphragm. If you extend your belly so you look 12 months pregnant, you’re doing it right! As you slowly inhale, focus on relaxing those facial muscles, you know, the ones giving you wrinkles! Relax your forehead, eyebrows, jaw, and lips.
Now exhale slowly through your mouth, keeping your face relaxed and focusing on relaxing your shoulders, arms, hips, thighs, toes and everything in between! Exhale completely and pause until your body requests more air. Slowly inhale again. Focus your thoughts only on your breathing and on relaxing your body. Repeat this pattern about 10 times. It’s ok to make deep sighs or moan-like sounds on your exhale.
If you want to verify the calming and distracting effects of relaxed breathing, do this little test:
Have your labor partner time this for you and in the second step he can breathe with you and give you verbal reminders to relax.
Step one: For one minute hold an ice cube in your hand. Look at your hand, think about how it feels.
Step two: Hold ice in the other hand for a minute, but this time close your eyes and do the breathing and focus on relaxation and your breathing pattern.
****
♥ More oxygen is delivered to the baby; helping to keep her heart rate stable.
♥ More oxygen delivered to your muscles. With well oxygenated muscles, (uterine muscles specifically) pain in contractions can be reduced.
♥ Breathing in this pattern is soothing and calming. It will follow the rhythm of labor, increasing in intensity as labor does, but continuing to sooth and oxygenate.
♥ It can be distracting. Focusing on your breath and your muscles relaxing over all your body keeps your mind busy.
♥ It may help regulate your heart rate and blood pressure by keeping your body and mind in a calm state.
♥ It can reduce or prevent the fear-tension-pain cycle.
EEK! There’s that P word! Yes, I said it: pain. Did that word trigger some fear or anxiety? Did you feel your body tense, perhaps your eyebrows furrowed a bit or your jaw clamped shut? You’re not alone! Childbirth and all the many decisions leading up to labor and delivery can trigger stress and anxiety. Each moment of stress is a perfect opportunity to practice your deep relaxation breathing.
If every time you begin to have fear or anxiety, you “go to” your breathing, your mind will become occupied with breathing and relaxing, thus pushing the negative thoughts aside and clearing your mind of them. When you finish breathing, only allow positive thoughts. Refuse to let negativity and fear settle into your mind. Replace them with breathing and positive phrases such as “my body knows what to do” “labor is a productive process” “labor is not an illness and my body will not do to itself what I cannot handle”.
(note* some fears need to be addressed or are a result of prior trauma, birth or otherwise, please address this with an experienced birth professional who understands the fear-tension-pain cycle. )
By training your mind and body to respond to stress, fear or anxiety with deep relaxation breathing, you will be ready for labor. You will respond to each sensation and rush of adrenaline with calming breaths. Start training now, the race is coming!
This article was originally used as a guest post at Natural Motherhood
Hugs to ya! Shannon =)
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Testing posting by phone.
I am still learning this Droid! I had been a long time lover of my Blackberry but when we changed carriers, well, the desire to maintain some techy dignity and not have my college kids out -tech me, I switched to my Atrix. It's only taken me a few months to realize I could get a blogger app and post from my phone! Genuis. So, here goes nothin!
{Insert random picture of my new mirror to test this ability as well}
{Insert random picture of my new mirror to test this ability as well}
MBoBB was amazing!
Ok, before I dive into my review, I first want to thank Gina Kirby of Progressive Parenting for my ticket! I never actually ran into her at the premier to thank her in person, but I truly had a great time and was honored to be able to attend!
Here's where it gets a little funny. Besides Ricki Lake, and Kellie Martin, I had no idea who anyone was. I used to watch Ricki's talk show and we still watch Kellie's show Mystery Woman. We don't have cable so I am am completely out of the loop on the who's who of Hollywood!While standing near the red carpet I met another doula, Tricia Olow from San Diego. We teased a bit about how if we just walked up to that red carpet as if we "belonged", we could probably get some photos taken. The next thing I know... there we were! The Butterfly Studio was the key photographer of the event and she captured our Red Carpet moment!
To view the entire album and see all the famous people I didn't know...
Visit her here!
So! The Movieeee... it was awesome of course. Let me back up to the original Business of Being Born... It was a great movie for people who have misconceptions of home birth. I think it also revealed to people that they have misconceptions of medical facilities they aren't even aware of.
Perhaps what I'm about to say is where I differ from many doulas I've spoken to... I have heard many say that the first movie ended on a "negative note". I don't get that. Yes, it was a cesarean birth, for a breech baby. Can breech babies be safely delivered vaginally? YES! However, my emphasis is on momma feeling capable and trusting her body to do this. If during her pregnancy, she has not yet chosen that path, then I believe there is more danger for a fearful mom to do this, especially if she is because people are telling her to. I don't think cesarean births are "negative" when a mom who has all the information about her circumstances still chooses this route. I DO, however think they are negative when a momma is bullied or coerced into one by medical staff or even family. If they are given one side to the coin, information that is not evidence based or otherwise inaccurate or incomplete; those cesareans are negative, not ones that are done for moms making an informed choice to do so. Do I always think it is the right choice? Not always. (for sure not convenience ones) But again, it is her
body, her choice, not mine.
 |
| Waiting for the show with one of my awesome mommas! |
Gah! ok, ok... I'm getting to MORE Business of Being Born! haha!
At the Premier, we were shown the second of the four parts. It was a handful of celebrity women sharing their birth stories. It was awesome! We laughed, cried and certainly lots of nodding in understanding! I was struck by how similar the stories were. Oh, sure, some of them were induced, some had pain medication, some did hypnobirthing, there were home births and hospital births... but the root of the story was all the same.
♥ Birth is hard.
♥ Birth is amazing.
♥ Birth is a journey.
♥ Birth is beautiful.
♥ Birth is yours.
I especially appreciated that while the women are actresses, they were far from acting here. They were being women. Women who have experienced the rawest moments of birth and were willing to share them with us.
Cindy Crawford, in all her loveliness, addressed the reality that you alone are the one who will deliver your baby and no matter who else is there, and who your birth team consists of, the work is yours alone... "I needed to just labor.... No one can do it for you, you have to do it. Kind of like working out, you can have a trainer, but if you’re not the one on the treadmill running, you’re not going to get anywhere."
All these women had selected certain people to make up their birth team. Alanis Morisette brought me to tears when she described herself curled up on the floor with her eyes closed and the relief she felt when she "heard the sweet footsteps of her team surrounding her". I was reminded of what a responsibility I have to bring that calm into a birth, and the value of mere presence.
There was a lot of "meat" to the movie, as well as humor. Random rants of toilet paper shortages, the disdain of feeling "slammed into your body", the wide eyed look when they describe hitting transition!
The best message they all expressed in their own ways, was that
♥ Birth is to be embraced,
not avoided.
♥ Birth is to be faced,
not feared.
♥ Birth is you,
at its strongest.
I just watched the 1st and 3rd DVD's in the series and wow.... just wow... Soo much information. I recommend you buy them, watch them, share them. You're welcome to come watch them with me anytime. And if you live somewhere fabulous like Hawaii or Cancun, feel free to fly me out and we can watch them at your place! ;)
 |
| Photographers just kept yelling "over here!" Glad to see I was joined by Abby in looking at the wrong camera! |
Shannon =)
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Morning sickness be gone!
Pregnancy does strange things to us, and Nausea is one of the least favorites! I remember having a bionic nose! Seriously, I could smell things for miles. Sadly, I didn't like most smells either! My husband included. As in... *covers nose, waves from down the hall, bye honey* kind of didn't like how he smelled! It was horrible! By the time he'd get home in the evening he was tolerable but morning? Heck no!
So just what are we supposed to do to get through that stage.... which may or may not pass after the first trimester? I was told of a solution by a friend of mine. It worked wonders for her and so I passed it onto others, and sure enough, the ones who do this whole heartily (translates: follow the protocol) had great success!
This article explains what is causing the nausea and how
to make it go away. Far far away!
On the off chance that beans just don't cut it, here are a few other things that may help, especially if your nausea is minimal.
I use Peppermint Essential Oil when my migraines cause nausea. I just open the bottle and sit it next to me. As I relax, the pain fades surprisingly quickly. I do
this at the first hint of onset, so if you try it when the migraine is full force, let me know how it works!
As always, be sure to check with your care provider about what products are safe to use while pregnant!
Hugs to ya!
Shannon =)
Monday, November 7, 2011
The sweetness of salt
Do swollen ankles scare you? Do they make you worry about pre-eclampsia?
Read this quote from Dr. Brewers website "...please be aware that the extra loss of salt and fluids (through sweat) and the extra burning of calories can trigger a falling blood volume with a resulting rising BP, and other pre-eclampsia symptoms..."
I always tell mommas to keep an eye on their blood pressure and have urine checked for protein to catch pre-eclampsia. If you notice sudden swelling on your face and hands, call your OB right away.
When a healthy momma starts moaning about her ankles puffing up, I go give them an Epsom salt soak and deep tissue massage to break up all those little fluid pockets, and I have them start Dr. Brewers diet. The next day.. whalaa.... ankle bones are back! :)
I've seen true pre-eclampsia and believe me, if you can prevent it by diet, do it!! I'm not giving medical advise here, but I strongly suggest you investigate and educate yourself so you can avoid unnecessary complications and interventions.
I'd love to hear your stories using Dr. Brewers diet!
Read this quote from Dr. Brewers website "...please be aware that the extra loss of salt and fluids (through sweat) and the extra burning of calories can trigger a falling blood volume with a resulting rising BP, and other pre-eclampsia symptoms..."
I always tell mommas to keep an eye on their blood pressure and have urine checked for protein to catch pre-eclampsia. If you notice sudden swelling on your face and hands, call your OB right away.
When a healthy momma starts moaning about her ankles puffing up, I go give them an Epsom salt soak and deep tissue massage to break up all those little fluid pockets, and I have them start Dr. Brewers diet. The next day.. whalaa.... ankle bones are back! :)
I've seen true pre-eclampsia and believe me, if you can prevent it by diet, do it!! I'm not giving medical advise here, but I strongly suggest you investigate and educate yourself so you can avoid unnecessary complications and interventions.
I'd love to hear your stories using Dr. Brewers diet!
Hugs n love!
Shannon =)
Shannon =)
I love to laugh...
Sometimes we just need a smile. I'm sort of there today... so I thought I'd post this little video, a humorous take on midwives.
And I pose a question to you all.... if insurance and money were not of concern, would you have chosen a home birth? What about a midwife at a hospital birth?
hugs n love to ya!
Shannon =)
And I pose a question to you all.... if insurance and money were not of concern, would you have chosen a home birth? What about a midwife at a hospital birth?
hugs n love to ya!
Shannon =)
Sunday, November 6, 2011
yup, I'm new here!
Well I'm trying to figure out how Blogger works. I've not been happy with the blogging options on my actual website. bear with me as I fiddle with this! :)
Also, I'm moving several of my previous posts over to here as well, so if you used to follow my blog, some of these will be repeats.
Also, I'm moving several of my previous posts over to here as well, so if you used to follow my blog, some of these will be repeats.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Healing from a Stillbirth
I've tried to find the write words to preface the story you are about to read. No words seem to fit. Pregnancy loss is a lonely experience. Others haven't had the chance to bond the way a mom and dad do. Please take a minute and read this story. Put yourself in her shoes and try to grasp the magnitude of separation, loss and grief.
Reach out to those who have suffered a loss. Just a hug or a thinking of you card works wonders on a shattered heart.
I was beyond blessed to be their doula for her new baby girl, but this story is an important part of that journey....
I have written a letter to all of my children about their birth. These letters are wonderful little pieces of my heart weaved together into a story that climax with incredibly wonderful and happy events, events and outcomes that I will treasure forever.
I’ve sat down multiple times to write the story of losing my baby girl midway through my second pregnancy. While I never will get to share this with her, I’ve wanted to write my story to honor her, and to heal myself. It really wasn’t until I acknowledged her life, her birth, and her death (and the life and death of another 1st trimester baby) that I was able to move forward with my life.
However, every time I sit down to write, I hit major walls. At first it was the pain of reliving this tragic and horrific experience that at first I didn’t even count as a birth. How would anyone want to read about this? This was my burden to bear and no one would understand. Then as time went on, I became more and more interested in writing this piece, but the words never seemed right. At first they were angry, focusing on all the injustices I endured, and the journey of losing my faith in many things, including my body and my spiritual beliefs. But all these words were focusing on my pain and anger, rather than honoring my little girl. I wanted to honor her and find a way to be proud of her short time in my life, and how she changed it forever.
After I wrote my youngest’s incredibly positive birth story, with highlights of my angel’s life, I really wanted to write this story in a way that would explain how my life was touched, and how much this little girl has changed me into a deeper, stronger, more compassionate woman. But how could I put this into words? I couldn't tell her story like my others, because my memories of this birth are shattered pieces of my heart that I have slowly been picking up and weaving back into my life in a such a way that I can live with them and move forward. Putting the events in order seemed to make less sense, and take focus off of the truly meaningful events that took place. So here it is, almost two years after she lived, on my second Pregnancy and Child Loss Remembrance day, it is time to write this to honor my Baby Angel Girl. I apologize for the jaggedness, but please bear with me....it’s a story worth telling, even if only I am the only one who listens.
“WHAT?? I just felt the baby moving”, I said in utter disbelief, holding back tears. As they rushed to get and ultrasound, I recounted all the recent events that had happened. Had I missed something? Had they missed something? Why was I losing this baby?? No one told me this was even a possibility....I was alone, away from my 20 month-old daughter for the first time in her life, with my husband sitting in an airport over 1,000 miles away, with my feet in the air, waiting for what I thought was a simple surgery.
Reach out to those who have suffered a loss. Just a hug or a thinking of you card works wonders on a shattered heart.
I was beyond blessed to be their doula for her new baby girl, but this story is an important part of that journey....
I have written a letter to all of my children about their birth. These letters are wonderful little pieces of my heart weaved together into a story that climax with incredibly wonderful and happy events, events and outcomes that I will treasure forever.
I’ve sat down multiple times to write the story of losing my baby girl midway through my second pregnancy. While I never will get to share this with her, I’ve wanted to write my story to honor her, and to heal myself. It really wasn’t until I acknowledged her life, her birth, and her death (and the life and death of another 1st trimester baby) that I was able to move forward with my life.
However, every time I sit down to write, I hit major walls. At first it was the pain of reliving this tragic and horrific experience that at first I didn’t even count as a birth. How would anyone want to read about this? This was my burden to bear and no one would understand. Then as time went on, I became more and more interested in writing this piece, but the words never seemed right. At first they were angry, focusing on all the injustices I endured, and the journey of losing my faith in many things, including my body and my spiritual beliefs. But all these words were focusing on my pain and anger, rather than honoring my little girl. I wanted to honor her and find a way to be proud of her short time in my life, and how she changed it forever.
After I wrote my youngest’s incredibly positive birth story, with highlights of my angel’s life, I really wanted to write this story in a way that would explain how my life was touched, and how much this little girl has changed me into a deeper, stronger, more compassionate woman. But how could I put this into words? I couldn't tell her story like my others, because my memories of this birth are shattered pieces of my heart that I have slowly been picking up and weaving back into my life in a such a way that I can live with them and move forward. Putting the events in order seemed to make less sense, and take focus off of the truly meaningful events that took place. So here it is, almost two years after she lived, on my second Pregnancy and Child Loss Remembrance day, it is time to write this to honor my Baby Angel Girl. I apologize for the jaggedness, but please bear with me....it’s a story worth telling, even if only I am the only one who listens.
**************************************
“I’m sorry, it looks like you are going to lose this pregnancy...” The OB/GYN stated very matter of factly to me, with no hint of emotion in her voice. I really couldn’t believe the words coming from this woman’s mouth who I had met less than 5 minutes before, who had supposedly been “monitoring” my progress the 12 hours before.“WHAT?? I just felt the baby moving”, I said in utter disbelief, holding back tears. As they rushed to get and ultrasound, I recounted all the recent events that had happened. Had I missed something? Had they missed something? Why was I losing this baby?? No one told me this was even a possibility....I was alone, away from my 20 month-old daughter for the first time in her life, with my husband sitting in an airport over 1,000 miles away, with my feet in the air, waiting for what I thought was a simple surgery.
Monday, October 17, 2011
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
Many of you know about infant loss and still birth and miscarriages. Sadly, many do not.
This mom (client now friend) has had to return to work after the loss of her daughter at 32 weeks due to a rupture of her placenta. Sadly, she has had to define the word stillbirth to coworkers. Please help others understand this loss and the depth of the pain it comes with.
Click here for the birth story I wrote for this couple. As all my birth stories are,
it is written to the sweet baby....
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Cyber pat on the back
Ok, so in my last post, I pretty much went on a rant about
care providers withholding information patients not only need, but deserve and
have a right to in order to make informed decisions.
Sadly, I see this more often than not. On the other side of the coin though.... there are the glimmers of hope. There are Doctors who will give all the information. There are some who will support momma even if he doesn't totally agree with her.
I recently was a doula for a momma having her 2nd baby. The Dr came in as she was beginning to push. Her birth plan had requested no episiotomy. He immediately showed me her scaring from a poorly repaired, 3rd degree episiotomy - turned tear in her first birth. He told me there was no way she could do this without another episiotomy. Mom still choose to refuse it. This Dr very well could have stood by and allowed this mom to have her way and suffer another bad tear. Instead, he said he'd give it his best shot. He performed perineal massage and support, and much to his surprise and pleasure, she did not have a single little tear!
So, to be fair and to give credit where it is due, I would love to hear your "cyber pats on the back" to a Care Provider who has proven to have your best interests in mind.
Sadly, I see this more often than not. On the other side of the coin though.... there are the glimmers of hope. There are Doctors who will give all the information. There are some who will support momma even if he doesn't totally agree with her.
I recently was a doula for a momma having her 2nd baby. The Dr came in as she was beginning to push. Her birth plan had requested no episiotomy. He immediately showed me her scaring from a poorly repaired, 3rd degree episiotomy - turned tear in her first birth. He told me there was no way she could do this without another episiotomy. Mom still choose to refuse it. This Dr very well could have stood by and allowed this mom to have her way and suffer another bad tear. Instead, he said he'd give it his best shot. He performed perineal massage and support, and much to his surprise and pleasure, she did not have a single little tear!
So, to be fair and to give credit where it is due, I would love to hear your "cyber pats on the back" to a Care Provider who has proven to have your best interests in mind.
hugs and love to ya,
Shannon =)
Friday, October 7, 2011
Do you know the whole story?
A while back I attended a Trust Birth meeting. It was great to be with 2 other doulas, 2
expectant mommas and 1 hubby.
We shared short versions of our birth stories. It was nice to laugh and cringe together over the collective 15 births between us! (2 of us have had 5!)
One thing I came away with was a confirmation that moms get one sided information from care providers. Why is that? In my local hospitals patient bill of rights, you see that you have a right to give informed consent. How can they do that when a care provider says things like "your baby is breech, you must have a cesarean at 36 weeks".
Why is momma not told she can wait for spontaneous labor, that there is still a chance for baby to flip in early labor, that the hormones that trigger labor means baby is ready, that the estimated due date can be off by 2 weeks and 36 can really be 34!
Oh man do I want to rant on this! But I'll stop now. If you're a momma, be an advocate for yourself and your baby... do your research, don't get opinions, get facts and make evidence based decisions!
Feel free to share your informed, evidence based consent stories!
hugs n love to ya!
Shannon =)
We shared short versions of our birth stories. It was nice to laugh and cringe together over the collective 15 births between us! (2 of us have had 5!)
One thing I came away with was a confirmation that moms get one sided information from care providers. Why is that? In my local hospitals patient bill of rights, you see that you have a right to give informed consent. How can they do that when a care provider says things like "your baby is breech, you must have a cesarean at 36 weeks".
Why is momma not told she can wait for spontaneous labor, that there is still a chance for baby to flip in early labor, that the hormones that trigger labor means baby is ready, that the estimated due date can be off by 2 weeks and 36 can really be 34!
Oh man do I want to rant on this! But I'll stop now. If you're a momma, be an advocate for yourself and your baby... do your research, don't get opinions, get facts and make evidence based decisions!
Feel free to share your informed, evidence based consent stories!
hugs n love to ya!
Shannon =)
Sunday, October 2, 2011
SO... what's the difference?
Recently I was asked if I’m the one that makes home births painless. Good golly I wish I was that good! Can you just see me flitting around waving my magic wand singing... Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo! (insert sudden urge to go to Disneyland!)
Focus Shannon, Focus... ok....
As a doula, I can certainly help you overcome unrealistic fears of pain, help manage it and help you trust your body and remain calm and focused! I can help your partner know the best ways to help you too.
Another question I'm asked a lot is if your having a midwife, do you still need a doula. Yes! Remember that a midwife is with you in a medical capacity. Her priority is to monitor and tend to you and your baby. A doula is there just for you, your comforter, encourager, massager. She is not distracted by the medical side of things and is free to provide you with continuous support.
I get asked all the time about the difference between birth professionals and this article explains them well.
I'd love to hear about your experience with these professionals, good or bad!
The Obstetrician, The Midwife, The Nurse & The Doula « Mother’s Advocate Blog.
hugs n love to ya,
Shannon =)
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Staying fit can help ease your labor!
Exercise during pregnancy is so important! Under your Dr.s supervision, you may be allowed to continue activities you enjoyed prior to pregnancy.
I LOVE this video! Dr. Biter is affectionately called "Dr. Wonderful"... here's a hint of why... enjoy!!
>YouTube – Pregnant Running Full Term With My San Diego Obgyn Dr. Robert Biter – Fitness During Pregnancy.
Do you have any pregnancy fitness tips or stories to share?
I LOVE this video! Dr. Biter is affectionately called "Dr. Wonderful"... here's a hint of why... enjoy!!
>YouTube – Pregnant Running Full Term With My San Diego Obgyn Dr. Robert Biter – Fitness During Pregnancy.
Do you have any pregnancy fitness tips or stories to share?
Thursday, September 22, 2011
I think I suffer from Eisoptrophobia - the fear of mirrors
or of seeing oneself in a mirror. I have to face this fear every morning! I
have the worst bed head ever! One day I just might laugh myself to death!
One fear I do not suffer from is Somniphobia- the fear of sleep! Can I get an Amen?! :)
Fears during pregnancy are not only common, but normal too. They can be a good tool to help you know what to discuss with your Doctor or Doula.
Fears left unaddressed can have a negative impact on your labor and delivery. They can raise your blood pressure, increase you perception of pain, and lower your tolerance, and even stall your labor all together.
Some fears are unrealistic. They may be based on myths or situations which are very rare and unlikely. It is important to speak up about these things and gather correct information from those who are well educated. Too many opinions from others can add to your fears rather than ease them.
When a fear is reasonable; such as when you have had a previous traumatic birth experience; speaking to an educated doula can help you realize the basis of your fears, and she can provide you with the necessary steps to address them. She can also equip you with accurate information and help you develop coping techniques.
Comment with what you are/were afraid of, and how you dealt with it!
One fear I do not suffer from is Somniphobia- the fear of sleep! Can I get an Amen?! :)
Fears during pregnancy are not only common, but normal too. They can be a good tool to help you know what to discuss with your Doctor or Doula.
Fears left unaddressed can have a negative impact on your labor and delivery. They can raise your blood pressure, increase you perception of pain, and lower your tolerance, and even stall your labor all together.
Some fears are unrealistic. They may be based on myths or situations which are very rare and unlikely. It is important to speak up about these things and gather correct information from those who are well educated. Too many opinions from others can add to your fears rather than ease them.
When a fear is reasonable; such as when you have had a previous traumatic birth experience; speaking to an educated doula can help you realize the basis of your fears, and she can provide you with the necessary steps to address them. She can also equip you with accurate information and help you develop coping techniques.
Comment with what you are/were afraid of, and how you dealt with it!
hugs n love to ya!
Shannon =)
Shannon =)
Sunday, May 8, 2011
A kind of crappy Mother's Day post
I know we all have different potty training methods but here is mine. On their third (yes, 3rd) birthday, said child receives a cool pack of fun undies. I hold up a pair in one hand, diaper in the other and say "which one to you want to wear" they say "undies!!" "okay, then keep 'em clean!"
Done. Daytime success in a day or two, night time success within a week. No tears, no weeks of messes and tears and no books full of tips. Just an age of capability and comprehension an coordination. :)
That worked for all 4 of my kids. Wait, I have 5.... oh yes, Stacey is still in diapers. Her development is delayed and she's not like a 3 year old yet. She is 12. Years.
So, in honor of Mothers Day, I thought I'd do some Diaper Duty math....
On average a baby uses 10 or more diaper a day. So lets say 10 per day for a year... that's 3,650 the first year. (x 4 kids is 14,600)
Lets say from age 1- 3, they use average of 5 per day. That's 3,650 for those 2 years. (x 4 kids is14,600)
Four kids of the above numbers comes to..29,200.
Now Stacey was infantile until she was 2, only weighed 20 pounds after her 2nd birthday. She also has digestive issues. So for her, lets say 10 diapers per day for 2 years, that's 7,300. Now from the time she was 2 until 12, lets say about 7 per day. (I get diapers delivered and that's what my usage averages out to be) that's 25,550 plus her first 2 years is a total of 32,850.
Let's add the other 4 poopers to Stacey for a grand total of.... 62,050 diaper changes!
That stinks! (yes, another crappy pun!)
The moral of the story is.... 62,050 diapers is overwhelming, if I had to do them all at once. But thankfully, I've only had to do one, or two, at a time. I can do that.
When being a momma gets overwhelming, just ask yourself, can I do this right now? Can I wipe this tushy? Yes. Can I clean up this spill? Yes. Can I change these dirty clothes? Yes.
God gives us the Grace to face earthly life when we need it, not before. He didn't ask "Hey, you look like a good sport, how 'bout you commit to changing 62 THOUSAND diapers?!" nope, He said, "Hey, I choose you to be her momma, you can change her diaper before bed, here's what you need" then wham, He gives me whatever it is I need to do that ONE! Sometimes I think He should install an ejection seat on the sofa since I tend to get stuck there late at night!
But Wait! Theres More! (sorry, when I'm stuck on the sofa late at night, its infomercial time!) There really is more, with God, doesn't it seem like there is always more?
The best part of being willing to tend to this stinky part of mothering??? We also get to tend to the sweet parts too!
So, however you celebrate mothers day, remember the sweet stuff, it will help you get through the nasties... one change at a time!
Hugs n love to ya!Shannon =)
(footnote since I keep getting asked... My Stacey has multiple disabilities. She is 12, with the skills of a 2ish year old. She has Agenesis of the Corpus Collosum, A Chromosome deletion on 3q, seizure disorder, chronic lung disease, mitochondrial dysfunction, severe speech delay, and then some! Thank you for asking, I don't mind one bit!)
Done. Daytime success in a day or two, night time success within a week. No tears, no weeks of messes and tears and no books full of tips. Just an age of capability and comprehension an coordination. :)
That worked for all 4 of my kids. Wait, I have 5.... oh yes, Stacey is still in diapers. Her development is delayed and she's not like a 3 year old yet. She is 12. Years.
So, in honor of Mothers Day, I thought I'd do some Diaper Duty math....
On average a baby uses 10 or more diaper a day. So lets say 10 per day for a year... that's 3,650 the first year. (x 4 kids is 14,600)
Lets say from age 1- 3, they use average of 5 per day. That's 3,650 for those 2 years. (x 4 kids is14,600)
Four kids of the above numbers comes to..29,200.
Now Stacey was infantile until she was 2, only weighed 20 pounds after her 2nd birthday. She also has digestive issues. So for her, lets say 10 diapers per day for 2 years, that's 7,300. Now from the time she was 2 until 12, lets say about 7 per day. (I get diapers delivered and that's what my usage averages out to be) that's 25,550 plus her first 2 years is a total of 32,850.
Let's add the other 4 poopers to Stacey for a grand total of.... 62,050 diaper changes!
That stinks! (yes, another crappy pun!)
The moral of the story is.... 62,050 diapers is overwhelming, if I had to do them all at once. But thankfully, I've only had to do one, or two, at a time. I can do that.
When being a momma gets overwhelming, just ask yourself, can I do this right now? Can I wipe this tushy? Yes. Can I clean up this spill? Yes. Can I change these dirty clothes? Yes.
God gives us the Grace to face earthly life when we need it, not before. He didn't ask "Hey, you look like a good sport, how 'bout you commit to changing 62 THOUSAND diapers?!" nope, He said, "Hey, I choose you to be her momma, you can change her diaper before bed, here's what you need" then wham, He gives me whatever it is I need to do that ONE! Sometimes I think He should install an ejection seat on the sofa since I tend to get stuck there late at night!
But Wait! Theres More! (sorry, when I'm stuck on the sofa late at night, its infomercial time!) There really is more, with God, doesn't it seem like there is always more?
The best part of being willing to tend to this stinky part of mothering??? We also get to tend to the sweet parts too!
So, however you celebrate mothers day, remember the sweet stuff, it will help you get through the nasties... one change at a time!
Hugs n love to ya!Shannon =)
(footnote since I keep getting asked... My Stacey has multiple disabilities. She is 12, with the skills of a 2ish year old. She has Agenesis of the Corpus Collosum, A Chromosome deletion on 3q, seizure disorder, chronic lung disease, mitochondrial dysfunction, severe speech delay, and then some! Thank you for asking, I don't mind one bit!)
Sunday, April 3, 2011
A day in the doula life
I'm often asked what my fee includes. The simple answer is to say, "visit my services page and it explains it all".
The not as simple answer is best explained with an overview of a delivery week... this includes the few days prior to, including and a few days after attending a birth.
I go "on call" two weeks before her due date. Also referred to by my family as going phone obsessive. It doesn't leave my side. It is next to my plate, next to my bed, next to the shower. I "check" it almost as often as I blink.
In this case, I've been on call for 9 days already. Keeping all plans tentative and staying well rested, keeping my gas tank at least half full taking two cars places in case I have to leave in a hurry, And of course, spending an awkward amount of time with my phone.
Tuesday
3:43 A.M. Cell phone screams. Well, it sings "baby baby I get down on my knees for you...." but its sounds like a scream at this hour. It's momma saying she's having lower back pain and can't sleep. It comes and goes and nothing helps. I suggest a warm shower, a small bite to eat, go potty and call me back.
5:18 A.M. Cell phone screams/sings again. Its momma saying the pain stopped and she's going to try to sleep. I appreciate this because I sleep much better knowing she is resting and I no longer have to cancel my days plans. Actually, since I'm on call for her, I don't have many plans and the ones I do are all "penciled in".
7:30 A.M. I'm up and getting started for my day. I get Stacey ready for school and send CJ off to drop her there. I get the days lesson plans and start Michelle on her History assignment while I sit with Robby to study the moon.
9:30 A.M. Call momma (now that I'm coherent) and give her a few stretches and sitting positions to help sooth her back. I suggest she spend time sitting on her birth ball to help relax her pelvis and encourage baby to settle into the best position for birth.
1:30 P.M. I know this momma is likely to labor soon so I opt for a short nap. I've become queen of cat naps. I've learned not to take them in my room or I'll sleep too long, but the sofa allows for just enough rest. I also have to squeeze it in before Stacey gets home - She prefers my eyes open and will try to keep them that way. :) So I assign some quiet school work and chores and snuggle up.
The not as simple answer is best explained with an overview of a delivery week... this includes the few days prior to, including and a few days after attending a birth.
I go "on call" two weeks before her due date. Also referred to by my family as going phone obsessive. It doesn't leave my side. It is next to my plate, next to my bed, next to the shower. I "check" it almost as often as I blink.
In this case, I've been on call for 9 days already. Keeping all plans tentative and staying well rested, keeping my gas tank at least half full taking two cars places in case I have to leave in a hurry, And of course, spending an awkward amount of time with my phone.
Tuesday
3:43 A.M. Cell phone screams. Well, it sings "baby baby I get down on my knees for you...." but its sounds like a scream at this hour. It's momma saying she's having lower back pain and can't sleep. It comes and goes and nothing helps. I suggest a warm shower, a small bite to eat, go potty and call me back.
5:18 A.M. Cell phone screams/sings again. Its momma saying the pain stopped and she's going to try to sleep. I appreciate this because I sleep much better knowing she is resting and I no longer have to cancel my days plans. Actually, since I'm on call for her, I don't have many plans and the ones I do are all "penciled in".
7:30 A.M. I'm up and getting started for my day. I get Stacey ready for school and send CJ off to drop her there. I get the days lesson plans and start Michelle on her History assignment while I sit with Robby to study the moon.
9:30 A.M. Call momma (now that I'm coherent) and give her a few stretches and sitting positions to help sooth her back. I suggest she spend time sitting on her birth ball to help relax her pelvis and encourage baby to settle into the best position for birth.
1:30 P.M. I know this momma is likely to labor soon so I opt for a short nap. I've become queen of cat naps. I've learned not to take them in my room or I'll sleep too long, but the sofa allows for just enough rest. I also have to squeeze it in before Stacey gets home - She prefers my eyes open and will try to keep them that way. :) So I assign some quiet school work and chores and snuggle up.
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